Hello, first of all I would like to say thank you in advance to all of you.
My name is Lani, I'm 19 years old, I live with my bf, and work full time. I found out last Friday that I am indeed pregnant (positive HPT). 6 weeks to be exact (if my calculations are right). Me and my boyfriend had the weekend, to really talk about it, and we've made the conscious decision to have an abortion, as we both (in our financial situation) could not bring a child into this world and properly provide for it. Now, I must say that, last April I had a miscarriage (probably the most painful thing I've EVER gone through in my entire life). Before I had the miscarriage we had both made the decision to get an abortion, and I was looking forward to it, because at the time, I was getting a divorce, I was in this new relationship with this wonderful man (my current boyfriend) but wasn't sure if having a baby with a man I had just started dating would be the best idea. Unfortunately, I had the miscarriage the day of my appointment, and went to the ER instead. The whole experience was horrible, but I was glad that I wasn't pregnant anymore (despite the HUGE price, that put me in even deeper debt because my insurance wouldn't cover it, ugh!). This time around, now that me and my boyfriend are more serious, and I know that he is the right man for me, it kills me to make this decision. We've done nothing but beat ourselves up because we weren't careful enough (we went on a cruise, got too drunk, didn't use a condom ONCE). I don't show him how I really feel because he is heart broken that we have to do this. I know that having a child right now would be completely unfair for all 3 of us, but I can't help but feel like I really really want this child, and as each day goes by, I get more and more attached. So my question to all of you is, did you feel the same way when you got an abortion, and did you regret it later? do you still think it was the right decision?
I'm not so much scared of the procedure as I am for the emotional effect it might have on me in the future.