crave_you26 (crave_you26) wrote in abortioninfo,


This is going to be broad, so I'm going to stick it under a cut....

Hi ladies, and maybe even gentlemen,

Okay, I'm going to start by saying that I have a condition called Polly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and my doctor had informed me that it would be very difficult to become pregnant... Apparently I got pregnant while on the Birth Control Pill, so I suppose she was wrong.

Anyway, yesterday upon waking up my boyfriend had mentioned how big my breasts were getting, and I shrugged it off a little. I had a day off and I figured I would go to Wal Mart before heading over to my moms house to pick up my second home pregnancy test in (three weeks.. better safe than sorry... or something like that) anyway I got to my moms house and expected a false alarm... um no. two pink lines. Those lines POPPED up QUICKLY! I immediately panicked, try to compose myself and went and bought two more tests and sure enough they were also positive.. and one of them indicated that I am 5 plus weeks along.

I have plenty financial instability with four jobs all supply/relief child care related positions, but my boyfriend of 6 years is pretty set... I work four jobs, have $11,000 of school debt left and just bought a car that is $28,000... my insurance is $300 a month and ugh.. lets not forget my mortgage! My boyfriend is about $22,000 in debt and also has the mortgage.. and there is an interesting part ownership situation in the house which makes us want to get out of debt to save for a new house so we can rent out portion of it out, but this is aside from this whole situation...  So in all my significant other and I carry a combined debt of  about $161,000 CND

Here's the problem... Last week I went away on an all-inclusive vacation... While I didn't drink excessively I still drank (at minimum 1 drink a day) the first day I got there I had enough alcohol to get me drunk fairly easily... now after losing 100lbs and being 155lbs I'd consider myself an easy drunk... regardless there was still drinking involved. Then I really thought about my lifestyle choices in the past 5 to 6 weeks and it's a little worse... I'm not by any means a big party animal, and I know all the healthy implications of drug use (I'm a registered Child Youth Worker, I get it), but I did MDMA about 3 weeks ago (the pure form of Ecstasy) It was a small amount, and it was the first time I had in about 5 years.

My boyfriend and I talked about everything and he thinks that I would have caused a lot of damage to the fetus and that I should get an abortion... I also agree. I have been in contact with a clinic and have an appointment booked for an abortion on April 11th, but have not made a final decision. Please, even if you're anti abortion please don't pass judgement on me... You don't even know the amount of stress this is causing me... trust me I would never consider this as an option if my behavior over the past couple weeks wasn't so damaging.

I have had ZERO signs of being pregnant aside from missing my period (which happens ALL the time because of my PCOS), my breasts getting bigger (I had gained weight due to holiday eating, thought nothing of it) and have been tired ( I have four jobs and often work doubles and can be up for 24 hours between shifts)

The truth is I don't want to have an abortion...I don't really believe in it... but seriously if I have already done all of this in the first 5-6 weeks then why take the chance of hindering a childs abilities in this world. I work as a child mental health worker and have seen the impact FASD has on children... I can't live knowing that I could potentially bring another child into this world with such a condition....

Also on personal inabilities to have a child... I JUST got a job in a youth detention centre, my training is NEXT month... they aren't going to want me knowing that I'm pregnant, even if there are human rights laws that say otherwise. I also have the ability to apply for full time position at my contract job in June for Septembers vacancies.. the problem... I would be about 5 months pregnant at in the interview and 7 months when I start and then I would need to be on a mat leave by November and GUESS what?!?! Probationary period ends in DECEMBER!

Seriously,  this is all TERRIBLE timing!

I'm really sorry, I'm really flustered and feeling a little unsupported by my significant other.. He doesn't understand why I'm so upset and thinks abortion is the way... He has zero feeling about any of it.. he claims he just deals with things differently

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