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23 March 2012 @ 08:38 pm
My Medical Abortion part II  
I wanted to follow up my post from earlier to let you know how the rest of it went...

I took my four pills at 2:45. I was fine for about an hour, than the heavy cramping started. This was easily more painful than my recovery from gall bladder surgery which I was pretty suprised about honestly. I took my anti nausea meds before taking the four pills, and then I took a Tylenol with codeine. None of which touched me. I ended up vomiting repeatedly in the bathroom for about 10 minutes. I decided to take a hot bath. This helped a lot at first, I got out of the bathtub and laid on the couch.

About thirty minutes into laying on the couch, I was in agonizing pain, pacing up and down my kitchen, randomly screaming and crying(part of that is probably because I apparently suck at handling pain). This went on until around 7:30. At 7:30 I decided a hot shower might help, I was going nuts with pain at this point and had puked again, I just wanted anything to get rid of the pain. Ten minutes into my shower I had a giant clot of some sort...it was flesh colored and the size of a standard coaster almost. After that I bled a lot and I'm still bleeding, I had one blood clot after that so far. I do feel pretty queasy right now though. 

Right now I feel crampy but I am okay...I won't lie, I cried a little after it happened. But I know this was the right choice for me. I really wish I could have  done the surgical but alas I couldn't afford that. I just want to say thank you to the people who replied to my other post, it definitely helped calm me down this morning to muster up the courage to do this. Thank you. 
[LISA] No Ka Oimorning_stand on March 24th, 2012 02:36 am (UTC)
I'm glad you made it through, even if it was more painful than you expected. It is a tough decision for anyone to make, even if we are 110% sure of our decision. Stay strong <3
Rachelleaveittoweaver on March 26th, 2012 02:27 pm (UTC)
Thank you<3
fantasy wheelsclaws on March 24th, 2012 04:03 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry to hear that it was so painful for you. The worst pain I had was just the starting cramps, it made me cry as well, however I decided to get a hotel room to privately have my abortion because my house was full of kids (about 7) and my 3 roommates, otherwise I probably would have been screaming too! I don't even remember if I took any pain medicine before I took the 2nd set of pills to be honest.. I think I took them when the crazy shooting pain in my abdomen started. They gave me ibuprofen.

Also, don't worry, I cried during and after my abortion too. Not that I regretted it, but I felt so bad that I had to even make that choice. It was definitely the right choice for me though and I wouldn't think twice about it. I was basically given a second chance to get my life together and be more responsible about things.

Your hormones are still all over the place and probably will be for awhile, so don't fret ♥ *hugs*
If you want to talk to anyone about it I would be more than willing, even though I am a stranger, don't be scared =)

Best wishes to your healing and recovery <3
Rachelleaveittoweaver on March 26th, 2012 02:29 pm (UTC)
Yeah, it was the starting cramps that were the worst for me as well. I had Ibuprofen and Tylenol with Codeine but nothing touched the pain.

That's kind of exactly where I am at the last few days. I'm angry and upset that I had to make this choice. I've also struggled with a feeling of loss the last two days, like I had something special and now I don't. Even though I know that the decision I made was the best one, the wise one, and the only one to make in my circumstance.

I can't wait for my hormones to calm down and I can try to think rationally again.

Thank you very much <3
fantasy wheelsclaws on March 27th, 2012 05:17 am (UTC)
There are times I still think "what if" but I've come to realize that I can't put myself through that because I will NEVER know. By what if i mean I will onder what the baby would have looked like, if it was a girl or a boy etcetc. I'd have flash forwards of me raising it. Although I have come to terms and accepted it, I still think about it sometimes and will have a little tearful moment.

It's completely normal to feel whatever emotion(s) you are feeling after an abortion. Just don't get hard on yourself and if you feel you are getting depressed about it, please talk to someone <3
The Bodhisattva of Kickin' Assrackletang on March 25th, 2012 08:17 pm (UTC)
Definitely glad you are okay now. And just wanted to add that I cried after my abortion, too. It was a surgical, and as soon as the assistant said it was over, I burst into tears. I have always thought it was a combination of sadness for the lost potential, and relief that it was all over, but I'm sure there can be many more reasons. Will be thinking of you as your hormones get back in their normal proportions.
Rachelleaveittoweaver on March 26th, 2012 02:30 pm (UTC)
I think a lot of my crying is related to those feelings as well. I saw a woman with her newborn come into my job yesterday and I nearly lost my shit. I guess the whole thing just feels unfair to me at the moment.

I can't wait for my hormones to calm down, I'm sure that's a big part of it.

Thank you :)